feather2pixels

This show on Friday night made me realize what all awful stand up comedy has in common: it makes you feel like you are in Los Angeles.

I want my fucking $29 back.

People sometimes tell me that Nowell and I are looking more alike these days.

Is that what happens to friends in older age?  And if so, what does it mean that Ben and Joe sent me the exact same package last week?

My plan to post every day of this week was about as successful as Glenn McCoy’s plan to be an acceptable member of the media.  Keep your internet goals as vague as possible to avoid letdown, I guess.  On the other hand, there are many gratifying things in this life.  One of the most gratifying things about screen printing is its ability to translate almost any image, almost always for the better.  This encourages the hoarding element of human nature.  Forgotten texts and found trash treasures take on a new life printed through a polyester screen.

I’m way in to the idea of discovering great things in the world and then finding a way to make them work squeezed through a screen.   I’ve been working on a body-themed poster for one C.W.’s harebrained schemes.  After a lot of getting nowhere on the design, I finally turned to America’s favorite last resort.  The library.  For unknown reasons, the Maritime Academy library stocked a 1973 edition of Gray’s Anatomy and I unleashed the awesome scanning power of my Canon LIDE 80 upon it.  Now dozens of striking technical drawings from a bygone era are mine. All mine!  I cannot lose.

My internet goal of the week is to update feather2pixels every day.  Today’s contribution to that heroic task resulted in a seventy minute quest to find the funniest picture on the internet.  The first thing this mission taught me is that Googling “funniest picture on the internet” gets you nowhere.  The second thing I learned is that my friend Louise was right: the world wide web is permanently cemented in a foundation of cat multimedia.  I didn’t really learn anything after that, but I did find what I believe to be the funniest picture on the internet.  Perhaps in light of the dynamic and seemingly boundless scope of the internet, it surprises you that I, , discovered its funniest picture.  But I did.   If you can find a funnier picture (that isn’t one of my rejected high school senior portait proofs) email me.  The first person to succeed will get a free set of Kid Monster postcards.  But do not get ahead of yourself.  Before you begin your false quest for the funniest picture on the internet, you need to witness the true funniest picture on the internet   And now behold. The funniest picture on the internet.

Abusin’ the rule-of-three:

I have been thinking a lot about posters lately.  If screen printing is the high calorie carbonated beverage of the printing world, then screen printed t-shirts are probably the Coke, screen printed posters are the Pepsi and mousepads are the R.C. Cola.  I was reminded of this during a recent visit to Mollusk Surf Shop, where every supply needed to construct an aesthetically harmonious surf lifestyle, from literature (coastal travel guides) to clothing (printed hoodies as far as the eye can see) to music (mostly Brightblack Morning Light), is all available within a perfectly designed 1500 square feet.  Anyway, the art gallery featured screen printed posters and they reminded me why I think screen printing is cool. Bold blocks of solid color, clever ways of doing more with less, a vague sense of incomprehensibility: bring on the rotten teeth.

It is my goal to post every day this week.

This week I am a real artist.  I sold two Temporary Spaces sales to people that I know.  However, maybe even more exciting than those intra-zip code transactions were the Kid Monsters orders I received from the 94403 and the 34251.  I didn’t even know a zip code could start with a 3.

I recently took the opportunity to use Walgreen’s $1.29 poster board to my advantage.   Shopping at Walgreens was recently described as frustrating because anyone working there has necessarily had a shittier day than you, and conventional wisdom suggests that it’s where imagination goes to die.  But this bargain, alongside the free film refills offered with their photo processing service, keeps me coming back for more.  A couple of bucks was enough to buy material for a three postcard series and a pound of expired dry roasted peanuts.

To make the film positive, I placed some of my kid monster illustrations under acetate and painted over them with India ink.  Screen printing the cards with as terrible form as possible (multiple, uneven passes with the squeegee) produced an interesting effect.
They turned out pretty cool. This is as close to loosening up as I get.

Notes from my sophomore Statics course:  Not only was this team’s pasta bridge well designed, but it was the best looking in the class.  When you are going to school the boys, you might as well add some rhinestones for good measure.

The 2009 Christmas Tree Burn at Ocean Beach.  It was approximately five times bigger and a million times hotter than last year’s fire.  However, I’m happy to report that it still only takes about seven seconds for a Christmas tree to burn.

So a few months ago, a small girl asked me if I wanted a drawing.  I said of course and she promptly drew this and handed it to me:
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