feather2pixels

Fact for the new year: The absolute largest size of rectangle that fits in a 2011 Honda Fit is 36″ x 60.5″.

Woah! Today’s stormy morning took down one of Folsom Streets beautiful and humungous Chinese Elms.

It was so big, the entire street was blocked.

Also--not to make everything about me, but the way this tree took down a 1992 Toyota Camry with it was eerily reminiscent of the the way my own was hit by a Chinese Banyan on Hyde Street five years ago.

The aftermath.

This made me think of the Urban Forest Map, which is internet information overload at its best.

Last weekend I drove up to Napa to meet my parents visiting from Philly. Parking was tight but I ended up finding a spot in the lot of an upscale shopping center. I was a little worried that my car might be ticketed because we took off for a bike ride with no intention of upscale shopping.

When we returned, I found this note on my windshield.

Not only had the upscale parking lot managers never suspected my desperate plot to park and dash, but based on the appearance of my car they assumed that the car couldn’t belong to anyone but an employee.

Instead of a ticket I just got a comically threatening note. The Camry saves the day again!

I guess this is kind of insulting, but my car has seen worse.

I recently rekindled an old habit and replied to a Craigslist ad.  Unlike 2006, however, this was no Casual Encounter.  But the experience did lead me to end up meeting Henry.  In the aftermath, all I can wonder is why Henry has not been part of my life for the last couple of years.

He accepted all the ripped screens I could find and re-meshed them for a scandalously low fee.  Not only that, but he did a great job and I returned home from Union City, California with a carload of new screens.  Literally:

Holy crap.   It’s like chanukkah in November!

Well that lasted a good four months:

I was laughing at this afternoon classic in car-defacement, sighted on Bartlett Street.

Then I realized that’s my car.

OK so for a moment, the idea of leaving it and driving around as-is seemed like a found art stunt for the ages. Plus, that way the terrorists don’t win. But then I thought about me pulling up to the faculty parking lot at my professor job like this. Makes it a thousand times funnier, but I don’t see myself pulling that one off.

So I am humbled. This is clearly the work of a master–From a purely prank based perspective, one probably couldn’t be more advanced in the craft. Brilliant word selection and execution flawless in its rudeness and legibility. Finally some conceptual art I can get behind.

Spring Break is great! Although I mostly just continued the aimless roaming through museums, coffee shops, and neighborhood cinemas that I started over the weekend, the city just feels different on a Monday. Especially the Mission. There are a lot of kids here and they make me laugh.

Here are two good things, two bad things, and one reason for alarm

-I am in the best biking shape of my life. On Thursday, I biked to the top of 17th street, just to see if I could. My drug test doctor said I had a pulse of sixty, an 80/50 blood pressure, and nice quads. Then he felt my balls. Nothing can stop me! Except for probably even the smallest car ever made.

-In her prime, Emmylou Harris was what could be the most beautiful woman who ever lived. I have a retroactive crush on her.

-As of today, I am caught up with my 2007 resolution of averaging one movie a week in the theater.

-In a single night I scored and lost a press pass as a photographer to the most anticipated San Francisco rock show of Spring 2007. Technically my name is still on the guest list but there’s no way I can show my face there.

-This is not a joke:

-It’s surely a sign of insanity, but I am getting used to the horrifying sound of my car. I find myself putting off the repair and not just because I am lazy; I am turning heads on the street and I secretly like it. This is what school counselors for years described to my parents as “bad attention.”