Anyone who gets too close to her eggs will be pecked at.

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Recently, I picked up a girl at a play and we went on a road trip through our country’s northern territories. These are the three things I learned in our attempt to connect with the land:

1 Hens can lay an egg every day.
2. Sea cucumbers breathe out of their assholes.
3. Honey is the only foodstuff that doesn’t spoil.

Should I be embarrassed that the highlights of our twenty-five day quest for enlightenment are essentially the results of a one minute Google session?

Probably.

Is there a point in clicking the link to check out some post cards that we sent from the road, made with found materials and Mod Podge?

Probably not.

But if you notice that one is addressed to you, then you really should come and get it–for reasons too boring to get in to, they are all at my house in San Francisco.

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