Friends, family, Nigerian spam robots: it is to you, my scarce and scattered and readership that I now make a confession. While I have been busy in these pages attempting to seduce you with anodyne images of Northern California that you may or may not have noted in passing , I have also been secretly at work planning something big.
Let me first beg you to please not feel betrayed by the belated nature of this revelation, for it was only in the most pressing interests of self-respect that I kept this matter quiet even to you, my most devoted online readership. (I hope you know who you are.)
What the hell am I talking about, you ask as usual?
Well, basically I recently came across my big chance in the art world. This felt like the chance I have been waiting for, I think. It all had something to do with a city fence, a big-time call for temporary art, and the changing Mission Bay community of San Francisco. Now not only have I been at work for the last four years doing things such as creating art about the changing Mission Bay community entitled Temporary Spaces, but I also took the time to put together and submit a bulletproof proposal for what I think is a truly exciting project. This vague recap probably doesn’t explain anything, but I hope it at least it coveys a few good reasons why even up till Friday I felt enthusiastic and confident regarding this opportunity.
I rallied my people, I did my absolute best, and without a doubt I put my strongest foot forward. That felt great. I am glad I did it. It moved me forward. Forward is my favorite direction.
Anyway, last Friday was supposed to be the big day and it turns out that the opportunity is not to be.
The bad part is that in the end my best wasn’t good enough.
Yeah… that part really sucks.
I’ll probably be over it after this weekend or this month or something.
I really don’t want to sound melodramatic or anything. There are incredible things going on in the world right now affecting the lives of millions and this thing was only about me. But as inconsequential and selfish as it ultimately was, I guess I really wanted this particular thing. Even though there will be other things this perfect. Some time in the future. Maybe.
Anyway, yes: I know this is how things go. I just thought I should mention it here, since this is my art archive-website-thing. Or something. Immense thanks to my four invaluable advisers: Erin, Z-mom, Montreal, and Julia H.